|He is the one who has always done his best. Been there for everything he could (even the 7th grade quiz bowl meets!). Always been the person I can talk to. Love him so much!|
For those of you who do not know, my dad has glaucoma and had his first of two eye surgeries on Wednesday in St. Joseph. I was pretty nervous about it. It's not a big surgery, but it's your eyes! You know what I'm sayin'. You can live without a finger or an appendix, but your eyes! My great grandparents also did not listen to the doctor as they should have on their recovery and did too much and both lost their eye sight. I was scared my dad wouldn't do the recovery as he should either. Most men do not.
His surgery went great and he went home to rest. Thursday was his post-op appointment with the surgeon. It was going okay until the nurse took his eye patch off, and he mentioned to my mom that he felt hot and did not feel so well. He proceeded to pass out four times in the doctor's office and get sick. Not cool. The doctor said he needed to go to the ER across the street. That's when my mom called me while I was just sitting down to a lunch meeting. (It was that phone call I've been dreading my entire life)
I paid for my drink and rushed over to the ER to see what was going on. He proceeded to pass out again one more time in the ER and get sick. His heart rate as at a 35 when I got there. Who knows what it was while he was at the eye doctor or just getting to the ER. Either way, not good. They ran all the tests they could for heart attack, stroke, etc. Thankfully, all that was normal. The shortened version of the next three hours was that the doctor did not like the idea that his heart rate was still so low AND that he passed out that many times. He wanted to get some answers so they admitted him and said he would stay the night.
I was pretty cool about the whole thing until I came back to the hospital after my Mary Kay party Thursday night. It was the thought of my dad, in the hospital, being by himself. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him there all night. The last time I was in the hospital, in that part, was when one of the biggest influences on my life, Janet, didn't leave. It was too much, to say the least.
My friend, Anna, texted me to see how I was doing. She is such a great Christian friend so I felt like I could just lay it all out there and she would understand, provide some guidance. I said I'm okay. I said it wasn't the phone call I ever wanted to get. I was dreading the day I would. I've actually thought about this day, not often, but I have thought I was going to have to deal with my dad going through a heart attack or stroke. You see my entire family has something wrong with their heart. (My personal doctors are pretty on me about keeping everything in line because of my genetics) Why I think about it, I don't know, but I still don't know how you can prepare for the potential of something going on with your parents.
I've been working really hard since January 1st on my trust in the Lord. What is supposed to happen in my life will because He puts me there, in that place, in that season. I could go on about this, but I'm at peace where I am with life. I've even mentioned to another friend that I am not as faithful as I should be because life is good. Isn't that when we still need to pray, be thankful, not just in the bad times?
To say I wasn't prepared for that kind of trust in God is an understatement. I think it's different when it's dealing with you, but with someone else you love. I couldn't tell you how many times I prayed, said I know I should be thankful for whatever happens, I know He will keep him safe, etc. I finally broke down to my friend, Anna, via text, and said I wasn't prepared for this kind of day yet. I have been good about growing, I think, in trusting His timing and the things that happen in my life, but this. Not yet. She said sometimes it takes events like this to put our faith into perspective. It's so true! I feel like I am growing, but I'm still not there yet in trusting Him. That's my fault as a human. I still sin. I still don't trust Him as I should.
Beyond all that faith stuff, I spent some time with my dad after I went back to the hospital on Thursday night. I told him all this stuff, and snuggled in his bed with him that night. I didn't stay because he said he would be alright. It still kills me thinking about leaving him. Aren't dads supposed say that though, they'll be just fine? I knew he was in the best place he could be.
Anyway, I stayed close to my phone Friday while at work. He had some more intense tests done and waited to hear what the cardiologist would say. The doctor didn't come talk to him until 10 or so that night so he stayed another night in the hospital His heart rate was still not great. I wondered what his normal is compared to what a normal heart rate should be. I asked a lot of questions. The nurses were great to answer as best as they could. I stayed again until late that night because I didn't want to leave, but I felt better about it compared to Thursday night.
The cardiologist said his heart looked good. There was really nothing to be alarmed about in the short term, but this was something to watch. He needs to watch a couple of things. We will get through it, and he will be okay.
Again, I really want to say thank you for the thoughts, prayers, conversations, etc. It is so nice to have such a support system. I know we are surrounded by such great group of friends and family who truly want to help.