138,336...1,943,040

My official time was 5:12:57. 

Showing off my first marathon medal. 

I put one foot in front of the other 138,336 times on Sunday. I can't help but be a little emotional about it.

• I don't know what made me sign up in December for this race. But I did it. 
• I don't know what kept me from making excuses every time I didn't want to run. But I ran.
• I don't know how many days I wished I would have never signed up for it because I didn't know if I could do it. But I did it.
• I don't know how many times people said I can't believe you're doing this. You don't have to. But I did it. 
• I don't know what caused me to get sick multiple times during training. But I pushed through.
• I don't know how many times I saw people pass me and think why even try. But I put one foot in front of the other. 

There are hundreds of reasons I could think of why I didn't want to do it, but I can also think of a hundred reasons why I wanted to do it.

• I want to do something hard. 
• I want to do something others can only dream of doing. 
• I want to feel alive. 
• I want to feel like an athlete for one of the only times in my life. 
• I want to prove to others you can do anything you set your mind to. 
• I want to be proud of walking in my first 5K two years ago to running a full marathon.  
• I want to prove to myself that I can do anything. 
• I want to put all my trust in Him because there were times I wasn't sure how I'd do it. 
• I want to beat my genetics. 
• I want to be my best self ever to have a baby. 
• I want to love doing something for life. 

And a hundred other reasons why I did it. I finished. I ran my own race.

I wasn't fast. I was disappointed in my time. Hundreds of people were ahead of me. But I have to remember I put one in front of the other, not just 138,336 times but 1,943,040 times throughout the training of 20 weeks to get to hold up that finisher's medal with pride.

I teared up running into Memorial Stadium. I just couldn't believe I was done. Done with the race I never thought would actually happen.

As far as the actual marathon, I'll get into that in another post this week, but I wanted to capture my thoughts just a few days after the race so I can look back on how I felt.

Belief barrier...

I have been truly blessed this month of April with a lot of things. I already live an incredibly blessed life, but this month has been off the charts. 

First, my Mary Kay team has grown by 1,484% (yes, you read that right!) and it's only the 15th of the month! That is a HUGE belief thing I have worked on this year. I know if I want to be a work-from-home mom and still have a great income, I have to work hard in the coming year to become a Director. I have personally added five new team members in a three week span. I know because of the hard work I have done and continue to do, God will bless my team and I with finishing Director in Qualification and our FREE Mary Kay car by July 1st. I'll keep you updated on all the other things Mary Kay as they progress for our Firecracker team in the coming months. 

Second, I was dreading my long run, like most weeks, this weekend. Yet, Saturday was so incredibly busy and blissful with my MK business that I knew it would be a good day to run. And it was! Temps were in the low 60s, overcast, a bit windy, but I'll take that. I was supposed to run 18 miles, but I felt great and pushed through to 20 miles. Now it's just a down hill slide into the actual marathon on May 5th! I never thought almost two years ago to the day that I raced for the first time a 5K and had to walk, that I'd be finishing a marathon!!!

You bet I was listening to Eric Church on my final half mile!!

Finally, look at this little lady! My niece, Hadley, came with her mom to spend some time with us while the boys were turkey hunting in Nebraska. Although they didn't have the best of time up there, we had a blast hanging out each day. She is such the little miracle baby, and I am in total awe of how good God is to bring this beautiful, smart, bubbly little girl into our lives. 

She lights up my world when she smiles like that! So cute!

No grit...No pearl

Just like everyone else out there in the world, I am tired of this nasty winter stuff. Well, sort of. I LOVE running in the winter because I do not have to worry so much about the sweat, can't take off any more clothes, dying heat, etc., yet I can't really run when there is white stuff covering the ground in many inches. That was the case last weekend. Boo!

I was scheduled for a 16-mile long run. Thankfully I started this marathon training LONG ago in November and have taken a few breaks here and there with the weather, sickness, etc. It's coming up on crunch time where I do not have a lot of "wiggle room" to make up runs. YIKES! I honestly don't feel strong enough to run a marathon, but I'll somehow finish it on May 5th.

Hopefully from here on out, it'll be warmer, like normal temps...50s and 60s. That would be fantastic for the last month of training so I can honestly just move on from this experience.

I know, I know...it's all about the journey, etc., and I get it. I should also be thankful for what I can do, and I am. I know you have to put the work in, and I have not. You get stronger, you become more confident, all that. I just am not there, to be completely honest. My body hurts, I lack the motivation, my feet are in extreme pain while I run the long runs. I pray about it a lot. I know I do not HAVE to do it, but I want to, to do something a lot of people have not done. Being completely truthful, I want this to say I've done something a lot of others have not.

I am sort of in a new season in my life that I have other thoughts running through my brain and not on training (more on that later). I want to get through this, say I've completed 26.2, and focus more on strength training, losing body fat, and running 13.1 miles. I LOVE those so much more. I will be thankful for what I have done during these last few months, to proudly have that 26.2 sticker on my car, a shiny medal showing that I went through a lot, dream that again someday I'll do this race again.

If you think about it in the next month, say a little prayer for me to have the strength not only physically but mostly mentally to push through, to run with little to no pain, remember that I have a gift to do this while others do not.

Little Changes...

I made a few changes to my blog like I said I was going to do for my 101 list.

I have finally added a few pages about me and my fitness goals/journey so far. Check them out above and let me know what you think!

Those Bucket List Items...

to 

I don't really have an actual, written bucket list. Just things in my head I'd like to do in my lifetime.

One of those recent items is completing a full marathon. To begin the story, let me paint the picture for you when I was younger. 

I was THE slowest kid in our class when we first had to complete the 1-mile run in elementary school. I have no idea what my time was, but I remember vividly being the slowest. I don't mean to be incredibly mean, but I was by no means an overweight child; I was average. So it stung a little when I wasn't even as fast as those who weighed a lot more than me.

I went out for every sport in middle school just because that's what you do in a small town. I played volleyball, basketball, and ran/threw in track. I, again, was not very fast or good, but I slowly improved. We still had to do that presidential fitness test I loathed every year. By the end of 8th grade, I was usually about the 4th or 5th girl to finish in the 1-mile run. I placed the same in the 1-mile run in track meets too.

In high school, I didn't run my freshman year in track. I decided to go out for track in my sophomore and junior years. I tried running, but quickly realized I am by no means a "sprint" runner, but I also wasn't fast enough to really be competitive in the long distances. I threw javelin, discus and did long jump instead. We still had to "run" some during practice, but nothing too intense. I also knew I needed to stay healthy since I wasn't really in sports sophomore, junior and seniors years other than cheerleading and swimming. I took the weightlifting class. It was awesome to see myself improve in strength. Though I would question the approach of our teachers. It was always to lift more. Now that I know a few more things about weight training, I know that is not always the smart approach to fitness. I digress...we ran for 15 minutes every other day and then did core work, then weights. Great workout for an hour and a half, really! We still had our fitness tests. You had to run 2 miles in 15 minutes. I did that several times so I was proud of that. I came a long way since being the slowest girl in my class.

In college, I didn't really do much exercise during school. I walked, of course, everywhere so that was a lot of my workout. During the summers, I ran, rode my bike and walked a lot, too. The summer of my sophomore year I got serious about losing weight and making better choices. I ran almost every day and lost 45 lbs.

The story of today. My exercise habits have ebbed and flowed from the age of 19-24. There are months where I really get into it, and long periods I do nothing. When I became engaged, I knew I wanted to look my best so I began running. My sister-in-law coaxed me into the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. It was hard....seriously. Looking back, I laugh at how easy the out and back, flat, 3-mile course is, but it was hard my first time. I didn't follow the training plan like I should have. It was also 16 degrees that day.

A lot has changed in 2 years (it'll be 2 years ago I ran my first 5k on Thanksgiving). I have since completed 20 or so 5Ks, two 10Ks, and two half marathons. I know to remain healthy and be the healthiest I can be before pregnancy, I have to run. I don't really enjoy it until I see the results or the feeling of completing the long run I have never done before or beating a time. But, I know it's good for me. So what's the next goal? Complete the 2013 OKC full marathon! Not sure what I'm really getting myself into, but I look back and think if you would have asked me two years ago if I ever thought of running 13.1 miles, I would have said, you're crazy. Now I am just fully crazy instead of half crazy, so cheers to 25 weeks of training!

More to come later on training and why the OKC race.

*~*What is on your bucket list? Have you done something you never thought you'd do? Please share in the comments!*~*

Another one bites the dust...

I finished another half marathon this past Sunday with the help of my sorority sister, Danielle. You may recall this post where I announced I was running another half. I'm glad Danielle pushed me to do another. Now that I have two under my belt, I hope to run two a year as a challenge to stay in good shape.

Now onto to the race...

I was nervous it was going to rain the entire time since Saturday was a soppy, wet mess here in Missouri and pretty much the entire drive to Wichita. I honestly probably would not have ran on Sunday if it were raining. I know, I know...I put all that work into training for months, yet the thought of ruining my feet and getting sick were not exactly pushing me to really want to run 13 miles in the rain.

We picked up our packets, did the prerace meal (DELICIOUS! thanks to Danielle's mad cooking skills), and visited some amazing boutique shops! We even saw another Theta sister, Mandy, at Frou Frou. I was so surprised to see her since I haven't for such a long time and she just got home from studying in London and Madagascar!

Danielle and I captured all smiles during the race!

It was gorgeous though for race day. Cooler weather, thankfully. We had our ritual pancakes and eggs for breakfast and my green tea for energy. I wore my Team Beef jersey for a little shout out. They gave us awesome cowbells. We lined up for the race, and we were off. Danielle's mom and mother-in-law were at almost every two miles cheering us on. So sweet of them!

We passed some great landmarks in Wichita, including the food bank, cool restaurants, hospital, old homes, and lots and lots of fans/dogs cheering us on.

It was a great race, and one I would definitely recommend to anyone who is new to distance running. It was flat and fast. We finished in 2:24, which is 2:30 minutes faster than my first half time. I am proud of that. Decreasing your time by that much on any lengthy race is hard to do. I hope I can keep improving my time and move on to more challenging courses in the future.

Cheers to us for another one down!

Our finish line pic with our awesome medals!

101 update Part 1

101 Update:

2. I've read a few more books, which I'm really happy about! I love having my Kindle Fire and it makes reading so much easier when I want to stay up to not have the light on bothering my husband. There may have been a few nights turn into days where I've needed extra caffeine because I couldn't put down my book. So add 2 more to the list!

8. I moved Tigger, my horse, about two months ago to a new home about 20 miles north of our house. I'll be honest, it is terribly hard to convince myself to ride him so far away. I feel TERRIBLE, seriously. I have no excuses, but I make plenty of excuses. I'm sure he doesn't mind since he doesn't have to work. I did ride him though a few times at his new home which has a nice arena and trails. I hope the weather stays nice and I can focus more on him after my half marathon next week.

14. We're getting our pictures taken by Laura Benitz on the 23rd of October and I'm super excited!

17. We're working on attending church more. Again, no excuses other than making excuses to not go. I hope we can go this weekend.

18. I'm sad the Ag Backers program from K-State's College of Agriculture is no longer around. I want to remain involved in promoting K-State, most importantly, agriculture! I hope to attend this on November 8th!

I'll stop there for now! I have a few more updates, but I don't want to get too lengthy!!

The Big Race...

On May 18th, Todd and I traveled to Joplin, Mo., to pick up my race packet along with my brother's for what was the biggest race I had ever done. I signed up on January 19th for the Joplin Memorial Half Marathon after some coaxing from my sister-in-law and best friend who also was doing her first half marathon on April 14th.

I never really expected to finish...I thought I would become injured like last time...I expected to walk a lot, but here's how it went:

8:30 pm--picked up race packet and race jersey
9 pm--ate an entire meal from Olive Garden, which I have never done, carb loading you know...hee!
11:30 pm--fell asleep reading Fifty Shades of Grey (oh my, I'm blushing!)
4:30 am--up and at 'em to get ready, use the bathroom, eat some breakfast
5:30 am--meet my brother who did not sleep at all the night before as he was at an Eric Church concert in Topeka. Thank goodness his girlfriend, Deidra, was with him to keep him awake on the drive down.

Deidra and Brandon at the start line

Me and my brother at the start line

6:15 am--Remember those we are running for...161 people who passed away because of the May 2011 tornado and those thousands of people, including my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, who were first responders in the aftermath of the tornado.

161 balloons let go in honor of those lost in the May 22, 2011, tornado. 

6:30 am--It's GO TIME BABY!!!

I spotted the 2:25 pace leader and thought I can try to keep up with that. They were two fantastic leaders who were very nice and pepped everyone up. We ran downtown and on the route of the tornado damage. I was fighting back tears from mile 1-4 while looking at all of this:

Right around 26th street where most everything was wiped away. 

St. John's Regional Medical Center where Christina worked/s and was destroyed by the tornado.

Around mile 4 we entered into McClelland Park and had climbed two hills at that point but I was still sticking with the pace group. I got through mile 6 and spotted Todd on the side of the highway cheering me on, and that was a huge relief and happy point to keep me going. By mile 7, I stopped to grab some water and take my gel and lost the pace group leader and was deeply disappointed in myself. Yet, I knew I couldn't walk or stop so I ran on. I LOVED the news crew who gave out cold towels soaked in water at mile 7. That was my saving grace as it was starting to get hot.

At mile 9, I thought I got this...then heard the ambulance behind me from someone on the race course being hauled off, and thought whoa, this is intense. I walked a teensy bit through the water stations so I didn't drown myself in water and choke.

At mile 10, I thought wow, I never thought I'd see double digits, never thought I would say only 3.1 miles left!

Starting with mile 12, I was overcome with such joy and relief I only had 11 more minutes to go. The Walgreens employees were the last to give us water at mile 12 and I needed it. By mile 12.5, Eric Church came strumming on my iPod and sang "Springsteen". I repeated that four times I think. I needed that music. I charged through the last half mile with a full-on kick. I passed by a man in full military fatigues and cried when I saw him knowing what my brother meant to me and everyone in our military. I was in a sprint through the finish line and finished in 2:26. I averaged an 11:09 mile throughout the race.

I got my medal, walked through the corral for runners to grab water and fruit and saw my brother and Todd. They were so proud of me, and I was so proud of me.

I never thought I'd run the whole thing, but I did. I never thought I'd do good, but I had a great time. I thought I was in the last part of the runners, but I wasn't. I worked hard at something, and it felt so good to finally do something a lot of people cannot say they have done. It felt good to finally feel like I am an athlete, which I never felt in high school. It felt good to not feel like I failed, but instead did good and felt great. There also was a lot of prayer involved. I prayed so hard to feel great, to be strong, to not feel the pain in my body, to watch over everyone who was running, to remember and honor those who lost their lives, to be thankful for what I have, to be full of gratitude always and so much more.

Now my brother wants me to do another in June...now if only I can convince my body to stop hurting when I run, I'd be all for it. I am proud that I got right back into running four days after my race. I know this is a new found peace for me. Just me, some good tunes and good fashioned hard work to get to a finish line. :)

The professional finish line pic.

Christina, me, and Brandon sporting our medals after the race. 

Can't forget the beef! I wore my Team Beef jersey and proudly posed
in front of the KKOW cow. 

I am finished...part 1

I totally have been slacking on the one post per week thing. Arghh, I hate that, but I often feel like I have nothing to write nor do I remember to take pictures of anything we do. This past week was one of those weeks you just have to survive as you know it will be better next week. I had our last Junior League board meeting (thanks for the glass of wine!), four papers to write to finish school, last minute event prep for our fundraiser event I was in charge of at work, the event, and finally my graduation.

I was cruising pretty well through Wednesday finishing some 16 hour days and then I felt like s**t hit the fan on Thursday. I found out a winery backed out, we got the wrong order for our chocolate, a million small details needed to be done, etc., etc., etc. But thankfully, our summer intern, Kayla, started on Monday and helped do a lot of the little things. Thursday night came and I finished two papers that night (bam!) and got a few hours of sleep. Friday went exceptionally well and we had plenty of time for set up, things went as planned, and the event could not have been more successful albeit a few more guests would have been nice. Saturday was my graduation from Park University with my master's in public affairs with a nonprofit and community services concentration. The icing on the cake that day was seeing my name spelled wrong in the program and having the wrong degree listed. Oh well, I made sure to call on Monday to verify my diploma would be right. That would have been embarrassing. I'm glad my family could come and it was great having a little downtime on Saturday. On Sunday, we celebrated with all the moms in our families, and I ran 10 miles for my last long-run before the big race on Saturday (hence the part 1 in the title). It hurt, and I jammed up my foot pretty good. I hate to admit that my body is probably finally telling me enough is enough with these high mile runs. I hate that as I want to be one of those who can just bust out 8-10 miles every other day or so and think nothing of it. Maybe someday...until then here are a few pictures from the last week.

Receiving my hood from Dean Stocks and Dr. Stuteville for my master's degree from Park University.

Willie, Tillie and I checking out my grad gift from Todd. Todd got a kayak too so we'll have
some fun on the river this summer!

Friends and donors enjoying wine from the Windy Wine Co., at the
Expressions of Good Taste wine and chocolate event
I planned for work. 

It was worth it...

My final race for 2011 at the Liberty Turkey Trot 5K

Last night, I decided a week and a half off from exercising was starting to take its toll on how I was feeling and obviously eating! I went for a 2 mile run around 5:30 pm last night. It was cold, like 25 degrees cold. I bundled up and headed out just as the last glimmers of the sunset were disappearing from the horizon. It was gorgeous! I wish I had more stamina from the cold to run a full 3 miles, but I hope that comes with time in running in below freezing temperature weather. I reminded myself while I was running that I have not posted my HUGE accomplishment (at least for me anyway) for 2011. I have been waiting for this day, or blog post rather, for quite some time.

I set a goal back in March to train for the Apple Blossom 5K. It was a mere selfish reason really; I wanted to prove I could do it and pay one less entry fee for the Junior League that I would have if I had not run. I asked my friend, Hannah, to join me. It was my second 5K that I did after the laughable effort I made in the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving 2010. This race really was no different. I was quite upset with myself since I downloaded the Couch to 5K app on my iPhone and began "training" in the middle of March. I gave myself a good eight weeks as they said it takes to finish the program. Maybe I'm just not an athlete or maybe I give up a little too easily, but I had to walk in that first 5K in May. I was so mad, but it was so hard. I really have respect for people who run long distances all the time. I hope one day I am one of those people who can say I finished a half marathon. My body hurt so bad during this "training". But I finished in a little over 33 minutes for the Apple Blossom 5K. Then Hannah and I did something I never thought I'd find myself doing...we set a goal to do a 5K each month until my wedding in October or a total of five races.

At that moment I thought I better get serious about this "no walking" business if I am not going to embarrass myself at every race. In June we did a 5K at the Legends in KC in honor of meningitis. My brother ran that one with me, which you can read more about here and why it was such a special race. I have found that it is easier to finish a 5K with no walking when you have a running buddy who will stick by you no matter how slow you go. It makes it a little more fun and a lot more enjoyable to get through.

I then did two 5Ks in July. Running in July, especially this summer, was miserable. Knowing myself I would have to put on my sneakers and the least amount of clothing to not scare people and run at 5 pm when I got home from work as I knew I would not otherwise do it or find something else to do and make an excuse for why I didn't run that day. I will say that is the worst time of the day to be outside as it is usually the hottest. It felt good to sweat it all out some days, other days I just felt disgusting and could not breathe as it was so muggy and humid. Of course, it does not help that you have no air conditioning in your home so your own solace is the air conditioning in your car. Yep, I did that a time or two to cool off. How sad, right? The other thing about running was I felt so obligated to keep doing it as I was scared I would lose all the hard work I had been working on for stamina. There was not a week I did not run at least three times. It took away a lot of my time I would have spent on my horse, Tigger, but I had a goal. I'm hoping once life slows down after grad school and I don't feel as guilty to get a minimum of three runs in, I can actually get back on him.

August was no different with the heat, but it was unseasonably cool for the Race for the Cure in Kansas City. Again, I ran with a buddy, my gal pal Mallory. She has completed marathons and I have always thought of her as an exceptional athlete, so it meant a lot to me she would sign up to do the race. You can read more about that race here.

In September I ran two more 5Ks. I have to make mention of how much I love small town races. They are usually pretty well organized, but it feels good sometimes to not have so many people so you have a higher chance of winning a medal, if they give medals. During the course of my runs this year, I received two medals for my age group! How awesome is that?! I am such a slow person, so it felt so good to actually hold that medal in my hand and say job well done.

In October, Hannah and I had plans to run a race on the 9th, but due to illness we had to cancel. So that leaves me with 7 races completed before my wedding day. Our goal was 5. I felt that was an accomplishment. With the added Turkey Trot in Liberty on Thanksgiving, I finished a total of 9 races in exactly a year. Here is a breakdown for all you stats people:

Average pace per mile: 11:03 minutes/mile
Average overall race time: 32:50
Total miles ran in races: 27 miles in 9 races
Total miles ran in training: 207 miles over 8 months
Total calories burned: 24,885 calories or 7.11 lbs

I feel proud and even more excited to see what 2012 brings for my fitness goals. My goal is two 10Ks and a race per month from March through November. Wish me luck as I take on even more training, which I'm sure will about kill me, but it's so worth being healthy for.